*(he/she is implied in all the text; for abbreviation i only use he)
Have you ever experienced a situation when someone seems to be in love with you, but not because he loves you, but because he loves himself?
At first you get all happy and excited because it so happens that you also have tender emotions about him. You try to learn things about him, you try to understand him, you check out their interests (music, art taste, movies) and lastly you try to “imitate” his way of “being” . For you, this seems like love: the worship.
However, when you notice the way the other person expresses their love, you see it’s not the same. Oh no, it’s extremely different. His, is something else, more self-absorbed. Something like, i don’t really want to learn you, or I might get to know you but this is something that may or may not happen, depending on the circumstances or the chances. He doesn’t try to know you, he just lets it on the flow. The only thing he cares about is how he got into this situation. He pitys himself for letting himself loose, for falling in love for another person. He talks to you on the basis of I want to communicate with you because I need it to feel well, regardless of your feelings or mood. And when you feel like talking to him, then he is not there or he is not in the mood. He doesn’t want to offer, he just wants to receive at all costs.
How would you feel about such a person? It puzzles me a lot. I feel emptiness on the thought of such a narcissistic approach towards love. I feel empty and frustrated.